Many years ago there was a girl who I thought was super cool and we hit it off, but I wasn't physically attracted her at first. The thing that made the difference as to why we dated was I made a choice I was going to pursue her and as we continued to grow in our relationship she only became more beautiful to me. I made a choice.
Another friend of mine who was also super cool had everything I wanted in a girl, but I wasn't physically attracted to her, but I decided that I could continue the rest of my life seeing what was out there, seeing if there was something better, or I could make a decision and pursue this girl. I made the decision to pursue the girl and almost immediately after making that decision she became attractive to me, and though things didn't work out, we never dated, I still find her attractive, and its because I made a choice.
Another relationship I had, the first girl I ever truly loved, was not an easy relationship at all. We would talk everyday, she lived far away, so we would need to set aside time out of our busy schedules to talk to each other. It was a great relationship and I realized then how hard it is to actually love someone. There were plenty of days where I didn't have the butterflies in the stomach about her and I would start to question myself as to whether or not I actually loved her, but I soon learned it was a choice. I had to remind myself at times that yes, I do actually love her and I have committed to dating her so I will continue forward with this; as I shared my experiences with her I was happy to hear I was not alone, she too had to do the same thing as our idea of love had obviously been skewed and we both knew it was a choice.
Love is not all what we want it to be, but we can certainly do what we can to get it there. If you want to date someone, marry someone, be committed to someone, it's a choice. Why suddenly do two people get married or commit to each other but they couldn't do that with the other people they dated? Not always, but sometimes it is just the making a choice to be with someone that makes all the difference. There will always be something better out there, always, but you can continually chase after that something, or you can decide you want to stick it out and love someone, and continually make a daily choice that no matter how much hell the two of you might go through, you will stick it out, because it's a choice. For me I never see myself leaving anyone, no matter how bad it gets. I've been through enough crap in my life that I doubt it will ever be harder than it already has been. Yes things will still be super tough and rough, but I have made a decision that when I marry the person I will marry someday, there will be no turning back.
In the end, love isn't a feeling we get, it's a choice, a choice that grows stronger the more committed one becomes in the relationship. Remember that time you got butterflies in your stomach because you loved your parents, God, your siblings? Yea, I don't remember those times either. It's a choice.
*When it comes to items for divorce I am not here to discuss that. I know there are reasons for it and by no means am I saying people who get divorced are just not making the choice, that is their personal matter and not for me to get involved with.
**While there is so much more about love we can discuss I am just talking about making a choice.
P.C. http://thelegacyletters.com
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