Lately in my life there has been someone who has been going through a very hard time. A dear friend of mine. That friend of mine has been through a lot in her life and she has been struggling lately with a lot of things, many things which she hasn't shared with me, that she used to share with me, she has been shutting me out, slowly. I have struggled with this as of late, as I know she loves me, and I know I love her, (just so everyone knows, this is not a girlfriend), but she is pushing me away, and I am finding it very difficult to keep moving forward.
This last week was by far the hardest week of my life in regards to loving another human being, there were things done by this wonderful woman, that hurt me, she didn't mean to, but it really hurt, and it pushed my limits in my struggles of where do I draw the line, or is there even a line when it comes to loving someone. At what point do I look out for myself and draw a line, or do I continue to love her, care for her, and do all I can to show her how much she means to me, how much I care about her, and show that I will never leave no matter how bad it may get, because I know she is struggling.
I had a church leader inform me I should move on from her in my life, because of the hurt I am feeling. I know my church leader cares for me deeply and is watching out for me, but I can't do what he informed me to do, this is the only time in my life I have ever felt conflicted by council given to me by a church leader. This girl is struggling, she really is, I saw her the other morning, briefly, and I could see the pain in her eyes, but she isn't letting me in like she used to.
I have determined it doesn't matter anymore, there is NO LINE, neither will I draw a line, but the line I will draw will consist of four letters, and those four letters are L-O-V-E. I am determined to show her that it doesn't matter how "broken"she may think she is sometimes, or how much she is struggling, I am there, and I will never leave. I will draw a line of no conditions, I will not love her on any sort of condition, I will love her because I do love her. I will focus on my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and press forward, doing all I can to help this wonderful daughter of God through her difficult times, and as I focus on my Lord and Savior, I will receive the strength I need to overcome any of the things that happen that I may feel hurt by, because I know she doesn't mean to as she learns to cope with what love really is.
I testify that as we focus on our Lord and Savior we will gain a different perspective of those around us, we will receive strength beyond our own to light the way and allow us to be there for those who are struggling, even if we are struggling.
I've been the girl in this story with another friend before. I hurt him too. I've also been the friend trying to help another who shut me out. I think it hurts worse to be the one watching pain than the one in pain.
ReplyDeleteI don't know this situation, and I don't know if this will help. But I do know that while there is some healing that can be done with the help of others, but instinctively, I knew that some of it I had to do on my own. Only by withdrawing from others was I able to really focus on that relationship with the Savior that allowed me to heal.
Love her - but pray really hard about how, because no matter how much you want to help, sometimes the greatest act of love is to gently step back and let her go to the Savior with her pain.